


Who Adopted Who?

by Queenie_Beanie



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Iron Dad, Peter is his new best friend, Spider- Son, Spider-Man’s new spiderkick, Thor is a dick, hahah, loki is a spider in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-14 23:56:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16051223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenie_Beanie/pseuds/Queenie_Beanie
Summary: Loki wanted Peace and quiet.He got a chatty child who wanted a pet.Peter wanted a friend and got one.





	Who Adopted Who?

**Author's Note:**

> Please direct you attention to the Iron-dad discord and all their headcanons 
> 
> Belle you know who you are and you are the pure reason to Loki’s Spider name
> 
> A bit based of Justmarvelsworld post on tumblr. 
> 
> You will know it when you see it

Loki, begrudgingly enough, was starting to like the child. See he had a hellish trip and a hellish re-welcoming to Earth. If you can call it that.    
  
So he had let his magic whisk him somewhere safe. He ended up in a library. He shape shifted into a spider believing no one would bother him. Only he gained the attention of three teens.    
  
Two of which quickly ducked behind the shortest of the group.    
  
“Peter please get your dog and leave.”    
  
“MJ it is just a tarantula-.”    
  
“Peter that spider is huge- dude try talking to it!”    
  
“Ned I can’t talk to spiders!”    
  
“Have you tried?” ‘Ned’ asked ‘Peter’ who didn’t really have a response. ‘MJ’ just gripped Peter’s arm tighter.

  
“Ow! MJ!”    
  
“Parker please.” Her voice held a tone of fear that pulled out Mischief from his soul.    
  
Oh he LOVED scaring people. A little harmless fear. He made a swift approach to her and she cursed loudly lunging away. Loki was ready to give a chase anything to get them to leave him alone. Even the bigger boy scrambled away.    
  
The small one caught him surprisingly fast.    
  
“That isn’t nice.” ‘Peter’ mumbled petting the small god of mischief.    
  
“Guys they are super soft.”    
  
“Peter that is nice but-.”    
  
“Please get it out of here!” Loki looked seeing how far the two were from their friend.    
  
“Guys tarantulas don’t bite.”    
  
“Bitch neither does jumping spiders and one bit you web head!”    
  
“That was a genetically modified-.”    
  
“Peter please!” ‘MJ’ pleaded and Peter straightened and nodded.    
  
“Come on Buzz lightyear let’s get you somewhere safe.” Peter said kindly petting the spider and grabbing his backpack.    
  
“Bye Ned Bye MJ if someone comes asking for their spider call me!” He yelled leaving with Loki in his hands.    
  
Loki for his part felt like he should and could leave. He honestly could...    
  
“Hey Penis- oh what the fuck!” Flash backed away. Peter turned and blinked.    
  
“What?”    
  
“Parker why do you have that?!” He squealed backing away, peter looked to his new Spider friend.    
  
“They were in the library and MJ asked me to take them. For a spider it is super relaxed. Want to pet-.”    
  
“Nope get that away from me. Good bye.” Flash walked away and Peter smiled.    
  
“Huh.... well Buzz looks like you saved me from my bully.” Peter chirped a bit. Loki May of settled with that..... though if he ended up staying with the boy he at least had a source of fun. Who was Loki kidding.    
  
First chance he had Loki was disappearing. Still... it was a nice change from his last engagement.    
  
Stark had been particularly prickly about Loki being with Thor today.    
  
Peter skipped out and then down a block into a car.    
  
“Happy! Happy! Look!” Peter held up the spider to a man in the driver seat. The man jumped and then growled.    
  
“Kid don’t do that!.... where did you get a tarantula?” He asked staring at the spider disinterested. Peter pulled back holding his new friend close.    
  
“Buzz was in the library kind of just wandering around. I am going to take care of them until I find out if they have an owner looking for them!” Peter smiled going back to petting the spider.    
  
“.....you know kid boss loves spiders. Why do you think he recruited you?”    
  
Honestly why was everyone commenting on the boy like that? If Loki could the god would frown in confusion. Peter though lit up.    
  
“I can’t wait to show him! Oh my god buzz and I could be a crime fighting team! Spider-man And Buzz light year the spider!” Peter grinned as the car started to move.    
  
“Buzz when we get to the compound you are going to live my room! I have furniture and stuff on my ceiling cause I crawl on the walls too- I make my own webs but well the are synthetic but-.”    
  
Well Loki supposed this was his luck. Go for some peace and quiet and end up in the hands of a young human super hero it seemed. The God-turned-spider watched ‘happy’ divide himself and the Spider-child’s chatter but the boy didn’t bat an eye.    
  
“He does that.” Peter commented and laid against the door petting Loki.    
  
“Hey Buzz I think you are going to like it! I don’t know how my aunt May will feel about you at first but you aren’t a dog so I think I am safe... she will warm up and you will love her.” Peter chattered softly.    
  
Loki knee that smile though. It was the smile he would have when Frigga was in the room. He didn’t know where he was going and honestly he didn’t care.    
  
Begrudgingly this chattering child gently petting him was relaxing. So he would take it before he decided to leave.    
  
He dozed off and woke to peter moving.    
  
“Thanks happy!”    
  
“No problem kid!” Loki wiggles until Peter let him crawl and he got to the child’s shoulder before seeing where they were....    
  
Right back where he started....    
  
The avengers compound. Peter smiled at him and walked into the compound waving as he passed people.    
  
“FRIDAY? Where is Mr. Stark?”    
  
“In the common area he requests you get there immediately.” Peter straightened and started moving faster.    
  
The child was availed and Loki gave him that. He was weaving in and out of people with out trying and making it to the common area.    
  
“Mr. Stark what is wrong are you ok? Is it a mission? I have my suit where is the danger?!” Peter rushed out almost sprinting to Stark. Stark had a surprisingly soft look on his face.    
  
Oh..... oh Loki hadn’t just been found by anyone. Loki was found by Stark’s son.    
  
Lovely.   
  
“I am ok kid are you oh sweet Mary fucking moses.” Stark’s eyes landed on Loki and he looked to Peter almost pained.    
  
“What is that?”    
  
“Oh this is Buzz lightyear. They are my cool new spider friend.” Stark took a beat and let out a breath.    
  
“That is an uncomfortably large spider.”    
  
“There are bigger.” Stark shivered clearly uncomfortable but didn’t say anything to Peter.    
  
“Seriously though what is wrong? Why did I have to come immediately?”    
  
“Thor you said I was gone for two years.” Banner muttered and Loki moved to see Thor and Banner at the table.    
  
Peter’s jaw dropped.    
  
“M-mr. STARK!” Peter squeaked loudly.    
  
“Kiddo this is Bruce and Thor.” Peter gawked and waved. Loki huffed and moved to sit in Peter’s hood.    
  
“H-hi.” Peter waved. Floored by the fact Mr.Stark kept this from him. He felt his mentor should of told him. Texted him.    
  
It was Dr. Banner and Thor.    
  
Thor waved smiling confused. Bruce waved at peter Shyly.    
  
“I see your kin would come small Stark. I could knock the boy over with a wave.” Thor said with a good natured smile. Peter let out an excited noise.    
  
Thor was acknowledging him. He couldn’t wait to tell Ned.    
  
“Thor. Bruce. This is my Mentee Peter Parker and his brand new addition- which by the way are you keeping your um..... spider friend?”    
  
“If they don’t have an owner can I?” Tony made a face.   
  
“Ask your aunt kiddo.”    
  
“But Mr. Stark!”    
  
“Nope I only watch you your aunt has all final say-.”    
  
“Could I keep them here? Please!” Peter pleaded. Tony only held on for so long before crumbling like a piece of wet paper.   
  
“Fine but I want to know where it is at all times! I will take you out to get spider stuff-.”    
  
“No I can buy it my-.”    
  
“Kid.... no we are not having this fight again. Now sit I want you to stay in my sight.” Thor let out a sigh.    
  
“If my brother has not caused trouble now he will not any time soon. He has redeemed himself.”    
  
“Wait are we talking about that guy that lead the aliens to attack New York?” Peter asked sitting on the counter.    
  
“Yes he came back with point break and Bruce But is once again gone. I am worried he is planning something crazy.”   
Peter blinked and concentrated for a second.    
  
His spidey-senses were only slightly tingling and he figured that was because of Buzz lightyear...    
  
“I don’t feel any danger.”    
  
“He might not even being on the compound.” Bruce sighed. Both space bound avengers were still eyeing Tony and Peter. Tony was leaning on the counter as close as he could with out touching the boy and the boy was just listening.    
  
“I want him found and in the compound.” Tony growled.    
  
“What is so wrong with him off being his own person? If he isn’t doing anything wrong then it isn’t hurting anyone.”    
  
“Kid I don’t think you get it. He came, tried to destroy the earth? Killed people?”    
  
“Mr. Thor said he redeemed himself!”    
  
“Kid he has killed people.” Peter grabbed a spoon from next to him and started poking Tony in the back. The older man arched away frowning.    
  
“Kid What the hell-?”    
  
“I just tried to kill you right now.”    
  
“Pete.... that is a spoon.”    
  
“I could have killed you, you would have been dead!” Tony rubbed his face. Unable to decide between laughing or groaning at his head ache.    
  
“Peter-.”    
  
“Dead Mr. Stark do you hate me?”    
  
“What? No never-.”    
  
“Then that is discrimination!” Peter proclaimed and threw the spoon down. Tony sighed loudly as peter jumped up on the counter.    
  
“Peter please can we not keep doing this!” Tony put his hands on his hips glaring as Peter glared back down hands on his hims as well.    
  
“Who said you can stand on the counters?”    
  
“You stand on the counters!”    
  
“Excuse you I own the building! Do you own the building.”    
  
“Allow me stark.” Thor walked over to the counter and for a split moment it looked like Thor was going to pick up Peter and put him down but picked up tony to put him on the counter.    
  
“There now you are eye level.” Thor grinned.    
  
Tony shot him a nasty glare.    
  
“Why didn’t you take peter off the counter?!” Thor’s Grin got bigger.    
  
“So I can watch without hurting my neck looking down.” Peter’s eyes widened and his head whipped to look at Tony for a response. The older man just looked gobsmacked.   
  
“Thor god damn odinson in my house- Banner are you  _ laughing _ ?!”    
  
“I-I am sorry Tony.” Bruce laughed helplessly. “B-but Thor is the biggest dick.”    
  
“We are gathered here today to witness the death of Tony Stark. Obliterated. In his own home.” Peter said pulling out Buzz holding   
He smiled to the spider laughing happily as Tony glared at him.    
  
“I disown you.” Tony said as Peter giggled holding Buzz close. Tony was smiling a warm carefree smiling as this teen broke into a fit of giggles.    
  
“Kid you aren’t supposed to laugh I disown you!” He grinned.    
  
“M-mr. Stark your dead I-I can’t hear you.” Tony looked to Thor crossing his arms.    
  
“You broke my kid.”    
  
“I thought you disowned him.”    
  
“Please if I do he would crash another plane in Pajamas.” Peter whines through his giggles.    
Thor and Bruce glanced to hima bit worried.   
“Mr. Stark- come on that was once.”    
  
“Go do your homework.” Tony shook his head getting off the counter. Peter got a hold of himself enough to realize he broke down in a laughing fit standing on the counter in front of Thor and Bruce Banner.    
  
This was the coolest and now the most anxiety moment he had even been in and he learned his date’s dad was a weapons dealer wanting him dead....    
  
“Right- homework- that I have- or wait- fuck- frick- ok bye.” He rushes out of the common room to his kitchen.    
  
“Buzz.....I was an idiot in front of them.” He groaned sliding down the door and letting the spider crawl into his knee. Well.... supposed this was the new normal... though he looked up seeing Buzz Lighyear the best Spider in the world patting Peter’s leg almost in a comforting way. 

  
Loki found himself stuck as a spider.    
  
For reasons that Tony Stark was a hover parent as Peter called him. Tony always knew where Peter was and what he was doing. Peter would tell him it wasn’t as bad. Tony really only monitored it closely if Peter was in trouble but other wise let Peter be.    
  
May was a bit more strict about Peter having a pet Spider then Tony but more telling Peter he needed to take care of ‘Buzz’ and what not.    
  
So Loki was stuck...    
  
He absolutely wasn’t doing this because he  _ liked _ Peter’s company and he  _ liked _ how Peter told him everything that was going on and was very kind to him.    
  
Maybe he got worried and followed the crazy child out on Patrols.    
  
Honestly. Who allowed this child the power to fling himself off of buildings and throw himself in front of bullets?

 

But Peter was such a powerful good. He would stop what he was doing to help carry groceries or come down on request to help anyone who asked. He would race to stop a mugger from hurting their victim and slide into ATM robberies.    
  
Sometimes he would end up facing bigger people.    
  
Loki found he wasn’t a fan of Peter’s much older villains who took no qualms in hurting the younger hero.    
  


So Loki has no qualms with influencing the playing fields to Peter’s favor.    
  
He was relaxed with this new purpose. This new chapter. Protecting a child was his more noble acts he will say. Peter was a good force. He even had a flair for mischief. Loki has the pleasure of watching Peter bluff a hostage situation.    
  
Dead serious saying he could control Spiders. His mask allowing him to keep a straight face.    
  
He won the bluff.    
  
Though he had to take breaks from his spider form it wasn’t hard to be a spider. Peter brought him everywhere but Patrols, Loki got to see a human world from a different perspective.    
  
He felt he could live like this for a bit longer.   
  
“Ok I could have SWORN Buzz was green and Purple not Purple and green.” Tony said frowning as Peter sat at the dinner Table Buzz lightyear sitting in his curls.    
  
Loki tensed cursing. Had he gotten lazy? Thor has been looking for him and left to look again leaving Banner, Stark and Peter. Still they would know and take him away from Peter-   
  
“Mr. Stark Buzz has always looked like this. It is why I named them Buzz lightyear.” Stark frowned.   
  
“How full of bullshit are you right now kid?”    
  
“Hey who lives with Buzz everyday?” Tony glared and sighed reaching over to wipe Spaghetti sauce off Peter’s cheek.    
  
“Whatever kid.” Peter smiled and just like that all attention was taken off of the Spider. Peter went back to his room and set Loki down on his desk to look for his web formula notebook in his messy room.    
  
“Look Buzz I know you aren’t a normal Spider. I think I know who you might be but you don’t have to tell me. I know all about secret identities so don’t worry if you want to keep hiding I will protect you.” Peter smiled at him then went back to looking for his notebook under his covers.    
  
“It is over here.” Peter snapped up looking to the man now in his room. Green robes, tall and elegant in a way. His jaw was tense and green eyes watching him carefully.    
  
His outstretched hand held a beaten red notebook.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what I am doing


End file.
